Dream Phone

Two of my really good friends were always best friends but are now ticking hook-up time bombs. Seriously, any day "Dawn" and "Kevin" are going to have sex and ruin everything for everyone involved. What's really frustrating is that the sluts in question, both individually awesome, independent, kick-ass human beings are so awkward and shifty that they refuse to have ''a talk''. In times like these, I find myself playing telephone between two otherwise communicative BFFs. I am this kind of telephone:

Loud, dated and transparent.