Dear Karen (of NYU's Art History Department),

After watching the Oscars with a group of professional 30-40 year olds, drinking prosecco that I can't afford, getting chunky from a smathering of fine cheeses, I'm feeling a little pretensh. I'm also feeling a little woozy/lazy, and frankly I don't care to read that essay you assigned. Nor does the paper (due tomorrow) happen to excite me. So, here are some art historical references in tonight's Oscar fashion. Perhaps this will suffice for you.

Angelina Jolie and Madame X. History's best dressed tramps.

An architectural wonder, Marisa Tomei's Versace gown is like a real life M.C. Escher. Click Marisa to enlarge, the detailing is amazing.

A more obscure, high-brow reference, Beyonce resembled a Chinoiserie vase that may have sat in a stuffy French restaurant (Regine's) in Boca Raton, Florida circa 1979.