Napoleonic Dynamos

Some things that test my patience:

-The combined complaininess and absurdity of blue balls
-Grandiose live treatments of mediocre ballads (Whitney Houston)
-Self-pleasured sommeliers who slowly and inadvertantly reveal their lacking of vital chunks of wine knowledge
-The inability to see something the way you saw it before you were corrected. This includes:
* the Disney "D" which I recently learned is not a backwards letter G
* the subliminal arrow in the FedEx logo
* the line "And I just love your flashy ways" from Biggie's "Hypnotize", which is not "And I just love your fleshy waist"

Some things that have granted access to play with my patience all day long:

-Bacon bread at Allen & Delancey
-Bacon in general