KRAZY SLAP IN THE FACE
Alexi Wasser is one funny cookie. Her blog, IMBOYCRAZY is according to her "a pep talk in the form of a slap in the face in the form of a blog". As if that wasn't a mouthful, her series "the blind leading the blind" is a weekly top ten of valuable life lessons peppered with snark. Sometimes it's silly, sometime it's serious but it's usually funny and it's always right. Here is my top ten list of Alex's ''blind leading the blind"
1. if you’re put on hold for longer than 9 seconds, hang up/press end.
2. stop TALKING about what you’re GONNA do and just DO it. nobody will believe you anyway until it’s done and you’ve actually accomplished something.
3. if he only texts back to your phone calls, move on. you’re better than that. i love you.
4. it’s bad manners to drink out of a glass/cup/mug with a spoon in it.
5. how about you answer your FUCKING phone? I KNOW you can see your phone. i KNOW you know it’s me. I mean, you’re constantly checking it when we’re TOGETHER. i guess you just don’t wanna talk to me. and that’s FINE. as long as YOU’RE fine with the fact that YOU’RE DEAD TO ME. unless you’re busy working, then i totally get it and it’s fine. just call me back. xo
6. all we have is our stories.
7. social anxiety happens when you’re not supposed to be where you are! So keep the fuck away from those creeps! Or develop a higher opinion of yourself, so anywhere you are is the place to be!
8. it’s ‘BY ACCIDENT’, not ‘ON ACCIDENT’. proper example: “he hit her BY accident.”
9. YES,I KOOOOOW: ultimately it doesn’t matter what people think of you, as long as you like who you are. BUT giving up on how you present yourself and chalking it up to ‘who gives a fuck’ is kind of a cop out too. you could miss out on some exciting experiences and opportunities: in life, with men or women, or just how you see yourself. NOT making an effort in how you put yourself together isn’t the best choice either.
10. always dress cool! That way, no matter what comes up, you’re ready to go! that includes cute undies too! just in case you get in a car accident and the ambulance driver or EMT is a stud!
11. i think it’s sooo important to makeout with everyone, and have up close and personal pillow talk with cute and/or interesting dudes….but don’t get locked in! have an awesome fling, and then get the fuck outta there! you’re too sexy and young to get in a rut! no matter what your age or sexy factor! I’m serious. dead serious.
12. all the beautiful girls take the stairs. if you’re ever in a situation that presents you with the choice of taking the stairs, elevator, or escalator: ALWAYS take the stairs! at the airport, in the metro/subway stations, wherevs! It’s THE thing to do! It works the legs and the bum! skip a step with each leg, it’ll totally hit the problem areas faster and harder!