This is why I'm hot. Also, poor.

You know when you have this really great idea to develop some awesome, life-changing invention only to procrastinate it a few months until someone informs you that there exists this brand new product that is essentially the same as your original idea, only missing some amazing feature that only you could have devised? Yeah, today is one of those days.

Behold Self-Control, a genius bit of software that I dreamed up months ago. Basically, it is a download that allows you to restrict yourself access to social networking sites in the noble hope of accomplishing real work on one's computer. Practically a clone of an idea that I had months ago, and at least three of my friends (Michael, Katie and Josh) and one brother (Colin) can testify for my case. Too bad I had placed it on the backburner of things to pursue come graduation, come joblessness, come real-world poverty because "Eyebeam Lab" beat me to it. Yeah, I used quotations. That's a bullshit name for a company.

Alas, there may still be hope. My version involved ''buying'' Facebook minutes by spending a disproportionate amount of time on a high-pedigree webpage. For instance, thirty minutes on the New Yorker's ''Shouts & Murmur's" page could afford one 60 seconds of Facebook time. Fair and engaging, yet intellectually and socially rewarding. I don't see Self-Control becoming any sort of phenomenon, but my ''buying'' and ''rewarding'' marketing scheme might be just what it takes to hook the Gays and the JAPS, because which of them doesn't love shopping and rewards?