BUY OR DIE

Little known fact: I used to be the proud-nancy wearer of a few clutches back in the day.  I started off with a vintage black logoed-up Gucci then switched to a simple hunter green leather envelope which I eventually pawned off to my friend Dari.  Miss that one.  Almost an enlarged wallet, I always found the simple clutch a much more appealing option than a tote or a briefcase, though it's hard to find something that is as sexy as it is gender-neutral.

Enter JACKSON.  Designed by Parson's grad/former Ralph Lauren collection footwear designer/all-around cool kid Jackson T. Moad, the line of understated and unstructured clutches strike that ultra-rare balance between utility and covetable *unisex* design.  JACKSON's minimal approach allows the carefully selected leathers to speak for themselves: the skins are insanely good and versatile.

Get yours at Debut on Mulberry St.  They come in loads of sizes, colors and textures.  And if your steez requires something outrageous, harass Mr. JACKSON himself for his monkey hair version.

PANTS OFF

In the words of my friend David Prosenko who just faked an illness to get out of going to a party with me, "don't fret just dance."

Dream Phone

Two of my really good friends were always best friends but are now ticking hook-up time bombs. Seriously, any day "Dawn" and "Kevin" are going to have sex and ruin everything for everyone involved. What's really frustrating is that the sluts in question, both individually awesome, independent, kick-ass human beings are so awkward and shifty that they refuse to have ''a talk''. In times like these, I find myself playing telephone between two otherwise communicative BFFs. I am this kind of telephone:

Loud, dated and transparent.

Suck On This

My super duper friend Neha filled me in on this song and I can't stop won't stop listening to it. A kind of tranced-out, New Age-y remix of Lil' Wayne's "Lollipop", it's totes fresh and bangin' for a summer drive or a smoke sesh.. Take your pick.

PS. check out Neha's page FRAMED.

THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO GO BACK IN TIME AND CLEAR UP WITH MY CHILD SELF

1.) There are no AIDS-infected needles hiding in phone booth coin return slots. Go start a safety coin-fund, you'll be happy you did when you're 22.

2.) Your pager is lame and none of your friends beep you anyway so throw it away or give it back to your dad.

3.) Quit bitching to mom and dad about wanting to follow your dumb 6th grade friends to public school. You have a hazy purple cloud looming over your pubescent years and you'll probs get jumped on the daily if you don't go to private school.

4.) Watch more TV. Shows of the 90's come up in way more conversations than any book.

5.) Your private parts will never "fall off".

Metamorphosis

Somehow, we went from this:


TO THIS:


If you dig song history investigations, peep my friend Marcus at Smoke and Mirrors. His new Track Anantomy series indugles in a favorite pastime of mine, finding vintage samples used in music dating back to the mid 90's.

Guess who sampled this?