SO MANY GOOD OUTFITS

The house that Mike Tyson lost to ~*bAnKrUpTcY*~

HOW AWKWARD!

GIGGLES

DoGGoNe CrAzY

There was a dog show this weekend in New Jersey, that wasn't your typical high-brow Westminster affair...

It was fun!  Festivities included shopping, facials and of course tarot readings.  I mean, how often is your pup treated to a day of Jersey-style F.U.N.?

There was also a creative grooming contest.  Oh man, I'm having flashes of Sandy Paws.  Anyway, this one is supposed to be a dragon.

Don't believe me?  Look closer..

Huh.  How about that?  Or this one, a sad angel, which is a little somber for my taste.  I mean, talk about a downer..

This next one is allegedly a ''canine-sized seahorse'' but I don't get it.  At all.  I also don't work for the Times so maybe someone there can talk me through it.

Next is the Mad Hatter and he placed in third; which I am assuming has something to do with the random  googly eye on his haunch.

My favorite!  Simple, chic, Vogue.

THERE IS NOTHING JOEY LAWRENCE CAN'T FIX

COUGAR

EX! EX! EX!

HOW TO WIN A GUY IN 10 DAYS...

...courtesy of Cosmopolitan

"WORK SUCKS BUT I SUCK HARDER"

"THIS MAGAZINE IS FULL OF GOOD IDEAS LIKE GRINDING BLACK PEPPER ON YOUR MEMBER"

STEAL OF THE DAY

I don't have a job or much money these days and I should be saving my last two cents for bills/bills/bills but sometimes a chick's just got to shop.  I don't like shopping for clothes anymore because I pretty much have everything they make these days, so now I just buy books I may or may not read, towels, assorted fruits and sometimes even things like this:

I found Mr. Jeremy Fisher the Frog at a thrift shop and even then he cost about as much as a drink at the Bowery but I think he really makes my room feel dressy.  I even added a cute little zebra brooch to make him stand out amongst the other Mr. Jeremy Fishers (also to signify his sexual preference for mammals over amphibians).

SNOWDAY

Wish I had this to wear.

TAINTED LOVE

NIRGAGA

Dream Phone

Two of my really good friends were always best friends but are now ticking hook-up time bombs. Seriously, any day "Dawn" and "Kevin" are going to have sex and ruin everything for everyone involved. What's really frustrating is that the sluts in question, both individually awesome, independent, kick-ass human beings are so awkward and shifty that they refuse to have ''a talk''. In times like these, I find myself playing telephone between two otherwise communicative BFFs. I am this kind of telephone:

Loud, dated and transparent.

THINGS THAT SUCK ABOUT HAVING A JOB

1.) SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A DICK
So all of your friends are interning for free or unemployed and you just can't seem to relate to their wasteful misery. I mean, you have things to do! Outfits to present! Responsibilities to take AND money to make! When you meet a stranger who is unemployed, be sure to feign embarrassment about your job and talk it down as much as possible. You'll make way more friends this way.

2.) YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON LIFE
Remember when you used to wake up hungover at 2pm? How about drunken summer vacations? You can now forget about all of that meaningful life-DNA because from here on you're going to be a slave for the rest of your life! You probably won't have time to date, see movies or listen to cool new CD's anymore. Look forward to a life of Netflix vid's sent back before viewing, online dating that never bears fruition and drinking indoors.. In bed. (Unless you open your own business but even then you have to pay crazy taxes which is even worse than not having vacation).

3.) YOU PROBABLY HAD MORE MONEY BEFORE YOU WORKED
This is a phenomena that can't be explained but it's true and common.

4.) NETWORKING
The best thing about your best friends is that they don't know or care jack shit about what it is you do. That makes it especially hard when you're suddenly forced to get drunk and not-bond with a bunch of industry-specific people.

5.) TAXES
I have no idea how this shit works. I hear they're a noble cause and civic duty but I still think the concept is pretty rude and presumptuous.

ON THE OTHER HAND:
you will encounter plenty of opportunities to wear shoulder pads and sometimes you may even find presents like such:

THE REAL LAST EMPEROR

"...when she walks down the hall you may not know who she is but you know that she's rich and you better get out of the way."

ROBOT ROCK

The Pointer Sisters had everything going for them in their heyday: killer clothes, legs for days and good music (a simple equation of timeless writing + of-the-moment-synths). It doesn't hurt at all that for years I thought this song was sung by a male group. Nope that simple miscalculation on my part only adds to their appeal.

FEELS LIKE LOVE

Feels Like I'm In Love 1980

This is one of the most obnoxious songs I have ever heard and for that reason it is also one of my current favorites. I like to imagine that Kelly Marie was a 2nd-rate CAP21 ingenue with a superiority complex and a disco act on the side. Not too far fetched.

INTERESTING SIDE NOTE: This song was actually written for Elvis but then he died. Major wah wah.

IN THE PAST THREE WEEKS I HAVE

1 Scored a job
2 Been verbally barraged by Cuba Gooding Jr. while driving
3 GRADUATED

BONEY IS GOOD

Are you in the mood for disco, fur, harem pants and machine guns? Cool me too.